RANT: Glenn Hollis Found?

Lately I looked at my blog review stats and saw that most people come here for info while searching for "Glenn Hollis" on google. Then I thought, where the hell IS Glenn Hollis? He couldn't have dropped off the face of the earth. Then I found this- apparently Glenn has gone to "97.3, The Coast"- South Florida's Concert and Community Fun Site. The good news? You can listen to After Hours with Glenn Hollis on The Coast from the website. The bad news? The show airs from midnight to 5 am Monday through Friday.

Here's hoping that The Coast appreciates Glenn more than Wash FM!
And that they move his show to a more listener-friendly spot soon.

RAVE: Talking Cats/ RANT: You Tube

Instead of being able to see the greatest you tube of all time from my page, I have to put in a link here to my favorite you tube video. For some reason (maybe because blogger switched to beta?) I am having problems uploading the video.

This video is my favorite thing on you tube right now, besides from all the Saddam Hussein execution videos. 'Cause really, what's better than watching some dictator hanging? I'll tell you- talking cats.

Warning: this video will freak your freak. Seriously. Sit down to watch it.

RANT: Northwest Airlines = Worst Ever

My husband and i just got back from a week-long vacation over the holidays and flew Northwest Airlines there and on the return trip back. Let me take a moment to tell you why Northwest Airlines is the worst airline EVER.

1) Very unfriendly staff. Sure, they do the usual, "buh-bye" when you exit the plane, but while you are on the plane you are treated like an annoying 5-year old. No you can NOT have a snack, they are 2.50 for pretzels and 3.00 for pringles. And no I can NOT check on your connecting flight/gate. GAWD you're annoying, fine, here's the info, but I can NOT guarantee its accuracy. So F u, hippie.

2) Cannot get a flight out on time, even though its the FIRST flight of the morning.

3) All flights must go through Memphis. Memphis is OK, but their airport is ridiculously spaced out. For example, gate B2 is approximately 50 yards away from gate B3. So although it is in the middle of the country, it's not exactly an ideal place to have a hub.

4) Pilots have twitches. I swear to god that twice during a flight the pilot must have hit the steering wheel with his elbow, because the plane swerved dramatically to the left mid-flight and everybody screamed. Screamed for their lives.

5) No one from the airline said a thing to the obese man who sat next to us on the flight out this morning. The man should have had 2 seats. He did NOT fit in the airline seat, was spilling out onto the aisle and onto my husband, and could barely wrestle the seat belt around his girth-y middle.
Afterwards, while I was soothing my husband as he uttered "I feel..... so..... cold inside....," I told him, "at some point the airline needs to tell him that he has to start buying 2 seats." To which he answered, "at some point people need to consider their surgical options."

6) Although I know this has NOTHING to do with Northwest Air, the people on our flights were among the most annoying I have encountered in a while. And because a) I think that the people that frequent a business reflect on the business and b) it was really really annoying, I'm going to bitch about it for a while.
1. For starters, there was the morbidly obese passenger.
2. Today, there were also about 35 screaming babies on the flight. Alls I know is, if I just had a baby a month or so ago, any relatives that want to see it for Christmas can come to me. TO ME.
3. There was also the "Spanish family reunion" sitting behind us today. I have no idea WHAT they were talking about (because I don't speak Spanish), but I do know that the family of 4 (mom, dad, and 2 teenage sons) were speaking when we boarded the plane, through the flight, when we got off the plane, and while we were waiting for our luggage. I don't have that much to say to ANYone, much less my family. The only thing I understood was when they started listing countries. No shit, they started naming countries. "Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, the Bahamas..." This went on for a long time. If you are naming countries, I think that you must just like to hear yourself talk.
4. There was also a nerdy love-connection a few rows behind us, which was quite puke-y. Two overweight dorks with their backpacks exchanging contact info. Looking longingly into each others eyes, starved for mutual nerd attention. Gag.


So along with boycotting 97.1 until Glenn comes back and Delilah is kicked off the air in DC for good, I think that I will also boycott Northwest Airlines. Because there was absolutely nothing pleasant about it, and there are enough airlines out there to choose from. Plently. Lets start with the As: American Airlines, Alaska Air....

RANT: What Interest Rate is a "High Interest Rate"?

I should always copy or mail MSN money articles to myself when I see them, because I can never find them again later- they disappear into the MSN black hole/vortex. So of course now I can't link you to the article. You'll just have to trust me. (ha)

I was reading one yesterday about how to "give your kids a million dollars." Basically they told you how much you needed to invest when your child was born, and monthly payments into the various accounts per month, to give your kid a million dollars (approximately) when they turn 18. I thought the whole idea was pretty interesting. There was also a column for how much you had to give if you didn't start saving until the kid was 5, etc.

Then there was a disclaimer stating that until you have your high interest rate debt paid off, this isn't something you should be thinking about doing. So what qualifies as a "high interest rate"? Anything above the going market rate for a mortgage? How much higher? Obviously 5% is low and 20% is high, but there has to be a commonly accepted formula for what counts as high interest.

The whole thing was depressing.

RAVE: @^$%'n Quebecois

There is an excellent article today from the Washington Post's website called In French Speaking Canada, the Sacred is Also Profane about Quebecois swear words. Apparently, when something bad happens, the Quebecois shout their favorite Catholic word, such as "Communion!", "Holy Host!" or "Tabernacle"!

From the article:

"You swear about things that are taboo," André Lapierre, a professor of linguistics at the University of Ottawa. In the United States, "it is not appropriate to talk about sex or scatological subjects, so that is what you use in your curse words. The f-word is a perfect example.

"In Canadian French, you have none of the sexual aspects. So what do you replace it with? You replace it with religion. If you are going to use a taboo word, it would be anything related to the cult, to Christ, the Communion wafer, Jesus Christ, vestments, and elements of the altar like tabernacle. There's quite a few of them."

However, apparently this doesn't carry over to the rest of the Francophone. The article reports that French visitors are surprised at these swear words. Lapierre credits this to the fact that the French have long been away from domination by the Catholic Church.

RAVE: Tenacious D

Just saw the new SNL tonight with Matthew Fox (from Party of 5 and Lost) hosting and Tenacious D as the musical guest. What can I say but Tenacious D has, and always will, kick some major metal ass. I was a little disappointed that Jack Black wasn't in any of the sketches, but what can I say? He did recently get married and has two movies coming out this month- "The Pick of Destiny" and "The Holiday". I guess I will cut them some slack and just revel in the awesome performances they gave tonight. Even if they did poke more than a little fun of grunge music.

This is not the greatest blog in the world; no, this is just a tribute- to Tenacious D.

RANT: Student Loans III

OK, so I shouldn't be ranting about how I can't afford stuff I don't need, like a bigger house or new shoes. That's just being bratty. What I do care about is that I can't really plan for the future with the amount of loans I am paying off. Since I have been paying off my loans I have been able to save very little and have put nothing towards my Roth IRA/retirement.

There is an excellent recent article from the Washington Post by Michelle Singletary from September 24, 2006 titled "Lesson for Students: the Best Debt is None," which talks about the myth of "student loan debt is bad debt". She ends her article with this:

I think all the questions, on some level, stem from the belief that student loan debt is good debt. It's not. Debt is bad, even when necessary. Conventional wisdom should follow this old Chinese proverb, "A good debt is not as good as no debt."

RANT: Evil Student Loans Part II

As my brother so politely pointed out in his comment below, yes, student loans are considered to be "good debt," meaning that you can deduct the interest payments from your federal income taxes. However, when it's not the interest payments but the principal payments that are killing you, this is of little comfort. All I know is: we can't afford to get another car so both husband and I can drive to work (one of us has to take public transport), can't afford to go on vacay, can't even really afford the gym payments we were making so had to quit, can't afford a bigger house/house in a nicer hood. Even the mundane things that shouldn't be big become big.... I need new sneakers but they cost so much. Why? Because about 10k a year is going into my loans.

At least when you get your mortgage, you know that you will be paying it for the next 30 years. However, when you are in school and your parents suddenly cut you off from tuition payments, but also won't let you quit school, you suddenly find yourself desperate to get a loan, any loan, to keep going to school. And there's not exactly a lot of options for the student loan payments- you can't really shop around as much as you do for your mortgage. There's the minimum amount of federal loans that you can get because your parents make X amount of $ (even though they aren't giving any to you), and then there's the private lenders who are looking to make as much off of you as they can. You don't realize when you sign that loan check to keep going to class that you are really signing away the rest of your life to the evil corporation that is the American education industry.

So, any multi-millionaires out there (Paris, hello, I'm your new BFF) who feel like being charitable, let me know.

RANT: The Curse of the Student Loan *evil laugh goes here*

Sorry to rant about something so goddamned depressing, but something has been weighing on my mind the past few days. On Saturday we had a little get-together at our house. At about 2:00 am when almost everyone had gone, the conversation turned deep and philosophical (as it usually does, which I HATE- why can't late night conversation ever be light and drunkenly cheerful?). Somehow the subject of student loans came up.

This was especially depressing for me because I recently sat down and figured out how long it was going to take me to pay off my loans at their current rates. I won't say how long it was, but lets just say that my hair should be entirely gray and I will be menopausal by the time that happens. Then I decided to see how much I would have to pay each month to pay it off the entire loan in three years. If I didn't have to pay anything for food or rent, I suppose it would be feasible. The really deeply pathetic thing is that I had pretty much decided (before I sat down and planned it out) that I wanted to pay off my loans before the husband and I could think about starting a family. Due to the aforementioned menopausal state I will find myself in when that happens, it doesn't seem like that's really a possibility. And that makes me incredibly depressed, seeing as how if I ever have a child I would like to be able to pay for its food.

This entire discussion leads me to my newest cross road: do I stay at my current job (which I enjoy), or go back to temping? Although the job is obviously a good career move with the future possibility of a higher paycheck/career track, temping pays more. A lot more. Which is pathetic. It's sad to think that we live in a society where working as a temp pays significantly more than what you can make at a permanent position. Anyways, if I was temping it is feasible to pay off what I would need to pay to get the loan out of the way in 3 years.

So what do I do? Work my ass off as a temp and get paid bank and pay off my loans/responsibilities to enable my future with a family? Or toil away at a job that will eventually lead to raises/promotions where I could, in several years, earn as much as I could as a temp (or more)?

I needed to share the thoughts that keep me up at night. 2 roads emerged in a wood and I, I chose the one less traveled by...BUT WHICH ONE IS THAT, ROBERT FROST? HUH?! NOT SO SMART NOW ARE YOU?!!?

RANT: WashFM's Non-Stop Christmas Bonanza

OK, I have to say it: 9 months out of the year I love 97.1 Wash FM here in DC(although that love has a twinge regret now that Delilah has replaced my beloved Glen Hollace). Where else am I going to turn on the radio and be guaranteed to hear Hall & Oats? A little "Dancing in September"? A little bit of Elton John, Billy Joel, etc.? But all that changes in November. From November to December I have to boycott Wash FM because they start playing NONSTOP Christmas carols & cheesy muzak. It's horrific. If I wanted to feel like I was stuck in a Christmas hell I would go to the mall the day after Thanksgiving, or go to Marshall's any day of the week.

I don't have anything against Christmas music, I just think it should be played at the appropriate time of the year- namely NOT Thanksgiving, and definately not right after fucking Halloween. I want to be able to enjoy my Thanksgiving with the dignity it deserves- Hall & Oats style.

RANT: Jared Leto's Look (REPEAT: NOT Jared Leto Himself)

OK, can we talk for a minute about what in HOLY HELL is Jared Leto doing to himself? I know he's got his band Sixty Seconds to Mars (and we all know how I hate the rock star who has to express himself musically *ahem Kevin Costner, ahem Russell Crow*). And I for one understand and share the rebellious/goth/punk thing. But I seriously think Jared Leto has taken it too far when I can look at a picture of him and be totally... not attracted to him. I mean, I know that there is more to him that the cute boy we all remember from that legendary staple of 90s tv, My So Called Life, but I'm not necessarily buying into the whole goth thing either. Probably somewhere in between.

There's also just something about guys who wear eye liner that really turns me off. There are a lot of things I want men to understand and share, but make up tips just isn't one of them.

LIGHTEN UP JARED. I STILL LOVE YOU JORDAN CATALONO.

DOUBLE RAVE: John Hodgman & David Rees

RAVE: John Hodgeman. I know this is an old clip of John Hodgeman (old for the net, 3 months), but I had to post it since we went to see John Hodgeman and David Reese Tuesday night at the Warehouse Theater in DC (near new ocnvention center). What can I say, I'm at home with the other NPR nerds! Anyways, John Hodgeman is just as funny live as on TV, AND he is really nice and personable, too. He even gave away "Hobo Chalk" after the show. Awesome. But another reason I had to post this? He was wearing the EXACT SAME suit and tie as he did on Tuesday night. Normally I wouldn't have noticed this, except he made it a point to talk about his Buddha-patterned tie during the Q&A, and here it is again.

DOUBLE RAVE: David Rees. I hadn't heard of David Rees (unfortunately!) until I saw him on Tuesday night, but now I am enlightened. He is the author of the most insightful and hysterical comics: Get Your War On, My New Fighting Technique is Unstoppable, and (my favorite) My New Filing Technique is Unstoppable. To see his comics, go to: www.mnftiu.cc.

I had my own "mnftiu" moment today at work when the loud speaker announced a key board demonstration taking place. You heard me.

RAVE: Michael J. Fox RANT: Rush (as always)

OK, you can add Rush Limbaugh as someone that annoys me just as much as Andy Rooney. Seriously, the guy is a druged out lunatic, and he loves making fun of people with horrible diseases like Parkinson's? This video clip from You Tube of Michael J. Fox made me want to cry (I still love you, Doc Hollywood!). I want a button that says: I SUPPORT STEM CELL RESEARCH AND MICHAEL J FOX.

RANT: Rooney Clue

I was filling out the crossword the other day and I came across this clue: "First Name in 60 Minutes". I racked my brain trying to think of who comes on first in their intro montage- "I'm Ed Bradley, I'm Morley Safer, I'm Leslie Stahl," etc. But oh no- what was the answer? ANDY. Will Shortz, you are on my list now. Seriously, he may be the OLDEST person at 60 Minutes, but he's not the FIRST NAME. If anything, he's the LAST name on the montage- "all this and Andy Rooney, tonight, on 60 Minutes." Come on, Will Shortz, this is the crossword editor's job. You gotta sift through the bullshit clues! PS> Will, if you are reading this, I love you. It's just this one thing with Rooney really bugs me.

RAVE: The Right Job

OK, I need to take a few minutes and write about how the right job can make a complete and total difference in your life. For instance, I have been at my new job for 3 weeks now. 3 weeks at my last job and I was looking for a ledge to jump from. Now I am working 10 hour days, sometimes on the weekend, but I don't feel drained- I'm not watching the clock or dreading going in the next day. It's amazing! Sure I'm tired, but I feel like I'm making a difference, being useful, and being appreciated. Sure beats being somebody's psychological punching bag. And the $ doesn't hurt, either. :P

Rooney Rant

From last night's 60 Minutes Andy Rooney segment, I would say that Andy has taken the road to senility. Seriously. Last night they just let him talk about food- nothing in particular about food- more like a free form thought flow about food.

First, he said he sympathized with the spinach growers in California whose e-coli laden produce made one person die and dozens of others sick. Then he said that made him think of when thousands of Indian farmers committed suicide a few years back when their crops failed (?). THEN he talked about although he's a meat-eater he would never eat horse. This led to an old WW2 story about when he was stationed in France, and after battles were over the hungry French villagers would come out and cut up the dead horses to eat- which, of course, he thought was disgusting. OK, lets not mention the fact that it was France in the middle of WW2 and they were probably starving without their GI rations.

He finished the whole thing off by saying that we all know that vegetarians are crazy, but that's probably the wave of the future.

Rooney, you are killing me. I'm actually surprised that Andy Rooney doesn't discredit the whole 60 minutes organization with his nonsensical tirades. Besides, isn't it about time for retirement? Rooney grinds my gears enough when he actually has a topic and sticks to it for 2 minutes (Salt and why the aliens are coming to get us), but the free-form tirade just set me over the edge.

RANT: Andy Rooney Hates Poor People

OK, not really, but that will grab your attention, right? In last night's 60 Minutes Andy Rooney segment, the living legend of the obvious goes off on a tirade on how George Bush has 433 assistants working at the White House. That's not quite so out of reach- I mean, think of the U.S. as a corporation serving the 300-some million people that live in the U.S. I don't think it's so far gone to think the CEO would have 433 assistants. I bet Oprah has 900 easy.

Anyways, AR then goes on to make fun of people's titles, which I admit is humorous. But then he makes fun of how much these people are making for what they are doing. For instance, he points out that a Correspondence Analyst only makes 30K/year, then jokes that he must only read post cards. I bet the Correspondence Analyst is the most hard working guy in the office, considering how much hate mail he must get. Then he derides the fact that there is even an "Ethical Advisor" to the president, saying that since he's the prez he must know what's what. RIGHT. That has been the hallmark of Bush, or any other president's, legacy. All the ethically correct decisions they made.

Ah, Rooney. When will you retire and end my personal hell knowing that someone pays YOU to do YOUR job?!

RANT: Sign of the End?

RANT: I woke up to a scary thought this morning- Anna Nicole Smith and Brittney Spears both gave birth this week. Is this a sign of the Apocolypse? I'm pretty sure that Revelations listed this as one of the Four Hoursemen, right after Bush becoming the U.S. President and Clay Aiken being appointed to a presidential committee.

RAVE: Some People Have Goals

So I was scanning the "offbeat" news section on CNN, because lets face it, it's the best part of the whole site, when I saw this article.Usually this is the kind of thing I would make fun of mercilessly (like your beard is going to help anybody find Osama Bin Ladin), but something put my sarcasm on hold (gasp!) and think about it. This guy has a goal, he has matsy, stick-to-it-iveness, whatever you want to call it. This guy is dedicated. In all honestly he may have just wanted an excuse not to shave and thought the Bin Laden thing was a good one to hedge your bets against, but still. The guy made a decision and he's showing everybody that he's not going to conform to society until some event X happens. I can admire that.

So here's to you, Mr. Gary Weddle. Here's to you and your beard.

RANT: The Air Force Cares

Let me begin this rant by listing a few givens. 1) I know the Air Force really doesn't care 2) I'm sure these sort of things happen all the time, probably in the form of "Internal Memos re: test wartime devices on American public", but I love that it is actually on CNN. Apparently the Air Force cares about protecting foreign combatants so much that they wouldn't actually want to use any weapons on them if they wouldn't actually use it on us., because it wouldn't look good in the world press. http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/12/usaf.weapons.ap/index.html. Well, um. YEAH. You know some thoughts are better in your head than actually articulated on CNN.