RANT: Andy Rooney Hates Poor People

OK, not really, but that will grab your attention, right? In last night's 60 Minutes Andy Rooney segment, the living legend of the obvious goes off on a tirade on how George Bush has 433 assistants working at the White House. That's not quite so out of reach- I mean, think of the U.S. as a corporation serving the 300-some million people that live in the U.S. I don't think it's so far gone to think the CEO would have 433 assistants. I bet Oprah has 900 easy.

Anyways, AR then goes on to make fun of people's titles, which I admit is humorous. But then he makes fun of how much these people are making for what they are doing. For instance, he points out that a Correspondence Analyst only makes 30K/year, then jokes that he must only read post cards. I bet the Correspondence Analyst is the most hard working guy in the office, considering how much hate mail he must get. Then he derides the fact that there is even an "Ethical Advisor" to the president, saying that since he's the prez he must know what's what. RIGHT. That has been the hallmark of Bush, or any other president's, legacy. All the ethically correct decisions they made.

Ah, Rooney. When will you retire and end my personal hell knowing that someone pays YOU to do YOUR job?!

RANT: Sign of the End?

RANT: I woke up to a scary thought this morning- Anna Nicole Smith and Brittney Spears both gave birth this week. Is this a sign of the Apocolypse? I'm pretty sure that Revelations listed this as one of the Four Hoursemen, right after Bush becoming the U.S. President and Clay Aiken being appointed to a presidential committee.

RAVE: Some People Have Goals

So I was scanning the "offbeat" news section on CNN, because lets face it, it's the best part of the whole site, when I saw this article.Usually this is the kind of thing I would make fun of mercilessly (like your beard is going to help anybody find Osama Bin Ladin), but something put my sarcasm on hold (gasp!) and think about it. This guy has a goal, he has matsy, stick-to-it-iveness, whatever you want to call it. This guy is dedicated. In all honestly he may have just wanted an excuse not to shave and thought the Bin Laden thing was a good one to hedge your bets against, but still. The guy made a decision and he's showing everybody that he's not going to conform to society until some event X happens. I can admire that.

So here's to you, Mr. Gary Weddle. Here's to you and your beard.

RANT: The Air Force Cares

Let me begin this rant by listing a few givens. 1) I know the Air Force really doesn't care 2) I'm sure these sort of things happen all the time, probably in the form of "Internal Memos re: test wartime devices on American public", but I love that it is actually on CNN. Apparently the Air Force cares about protecting foreign combatants so much that they wouldn't actually want to use any weapons on them if they wouldn't actually use it on us., because it wouldn't look good in the world press. http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/12/usaf.weapons.ap/index.html. Well, um. YEAH. You know some thoughts are better in your head than actually articulated on CNN.

RANT: New Bra Trends?

Apparently there is a new trend in celebrity/fashion bras I had no idea existed. Is there even a name for this? I call it "the trapeze artist".

RAVE: Someone Else Agrees About Steve Irwin

RAVE: my husband showed me a recent post on an awesome new blog I've just discovered- www.calacanis.com- about how the Discovery Channel killed Steve Irwin. Thank god someone else pointed out the similarities between Steve Irwin and the Grizzly Man (Tim Treadwell).

Also, I loved an article about how Germaine Greeer was being publicly taunted because she said what a lot of people were thinking- that Steve Irwin was horrible to animals and his death (while I do think is sad, and I am sorry for his family), is not such a surprise.

RANT: Bush to Hire Clay Aiken

RANT: in another brilliant move by President Bush, he has decided to hire Clay Aiken to head up the President's Committee on People with Intellectual Disabilities. Hmmm. Too many jokes here to think straight. Apparently Clay was chosen because in his pre-Idol days he was a counselor at a YMCA. I think it was great that he was a counselor and this is obviously a chance to do some good, but is Clay Aiken, American Idol's second season runner-up really qualified to head up a President's Committee? So when is Bush going to hire Paula Abdul to head up logistics in Iraq? She did coreography once. Or Simon to design all the new military uniforms. He has a crewcut.

RAVE: Freedom of Expression

Aren't you glad we live in America where we can say whatever we want? It's a beautiful thing.

RAVE: Pro-Pluto Protest Draws... 50 people in NM

RAVE: Looks like the good people of New Mexico have finally read my blog entry about Pluto getting dissed and are up in arms as they should be. All 50 of them. I would actually LOVE to see a protest that was about such an academic/intellectual thing- the downsizing of a planet to a dwarf. I mean, these are people who choose to go out and protest in the hot summer in New Mexico, not about immigration or civil rights, but about Pluto.

I do take issue with the protesters saying that Clyde Tombaugh, the discoverer of Pluto, was an "American hero, and for that reason alone Pluto's status as a planet should be kept." That's a bit of a stretch. He was obviously a smart guy and helped out New Mexico State University quite a bit by starting up their astronomy department. But probably not an American hero. I like to save those titles for people who might have died saving a baby from a burning building.

I do want one of the shirts that says "Size Doesn't Matter". That's awesome.

Pluto Protesters, I salute you!

RANT: Croc Hunter Bites the Big One

RANT:
Is it sad that Steve Irwin, the "Crocodile Hunter" is dead? Yes. A surprise? No. I'm just shocked it didn't happen earlier. Sort of like my other favorite outdoor documentary filmmaker/wildlife psycho, the Grizzly Man. I'm more shocked that they lasted as long as they did. Or, as my husband said, "Crikey!"