My husband and i just got back from a week-long vacation over the holidays and flew Northwest Airlines there and on the return trip back. Let me take a moment to tell you why Northwest Airlines is the worst airline EVER.
1) Very unfriendly staff. Sure, they do the usual, "buh-bye" when you exit the plane, but while you are on the plane you are treated like an annoying 5-year old. No you can NOT have a snack, they are 2.50 for pretzels and 3.00 for pringles. And no I can NOT check on your connecting flight/gate. GAWD you're annoying, fine, here's the info, but I can NOT guarantee its accuracy. So F u, hippie.
2) Cannot get a flight out on time, even though its the FIRST flight of the morning.
3) All flights must go through Memphis. Memphis is OK, but their airport is ridiculously spaced out. For example, gate B2 is approximately 50 yards away from gate B3. So although it is in the middle of the country, it's not exactly an ideal place to have a hub.
4) Pilots have twitches. I swear to god that twice during a flight the pilot must have hit the steering wheel with his elbow, because the plane swerved dramatically to the left mid-flight and everybody screamed. Screamed for their lives.
5) No one from the airline said a thing to the obese man who sat next to us on the flight out this morning. The man should have had 2 seats. He did NOT fit in the airline seat, was spilling out onto the aisle and onto my husband, and could barely wrestle the seat belt around his girth-y middle.
Afterwards, while I was soothing my husband as he uttered "I feel..... so..... cold inside....," I told him, "at some point the airline needs to tell him that he has to start buying 2 seats." To which he answered, "at some point people need to consider their surgical options."
6) Although I know this has NOTHING to do with Northwest Air, the people on our flights were among the most annoying I have encountered in a while. And because a) I think that the people that frequent a business reflect on the business and b) it was really really annoying, I'm going to bitch about it for a while.
1. For starters, there was the morbidly obese passenger.
2. Today, there were also about 35 screaming babies on the flight. Alls I know is, if I just had a baby a month or so ago, any relatives that want to see it for Christmas can come to me. TO ME.
3. There was also the "Spanish family reunion" sitting behind us today. I have no idea WHAT they were talking about (because I don't speak Spanish), but I do know that the family of 4 (mom, dad, and 2 teenage sons) were speaking when we boarded the plane, through the flight, when we got off the plane, and while we were waiting for our luggage. I don't have that much to say to ANYone, much less my family. The only thing I understood was when they started listing countries. No shit, they started naming countries. "Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, the Bahamas..." This went on for a long time. If you are naming countries, I think that you must just like to hear yourself talk.
4. There was also a nerdy love-connection a few rows behind us, which was quite puke-y. Two overweight dorks with their backpacks exchanging contact info. Looking longingly into each others eyes, starved for mutual nerd attention. Gag.
So along with boycotting 97.1 until Glenn comes back and Delilah is kicked off the air in DC for good, I think that I will also boycott Northwest Airlines. Because there was absolutely nothing pleasant about it, and there are enough airlines out there to choose from. Plently. Lets start with the As: American Airlines, Alaska Air....
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4) Pilots have twitches. I swear to god that twice during a flight the pilot must have hit the steering wheel with his elbow, because the plane swerved dramatically to the left mid-flight and everybody screamed. Screamed for their lives.
As someone who's flown Northwest a few times and who is still nervous about flying, hearing that scares the crap out of me.
I'm suddenly thinking of that "Whose Line Is It Anyway" bit when they have to improvise lines that you never want to hear, and Greg Proops says, "I've been drinking with the pilot for hours!!!"
When I flew to Germany in May of '05, I kid you not, we had to turn back while we were a third of the way over the ocean, because we had not one but two sick passengers. We weren't far enough across the Atlantic to continue on through, and as the pilot so aptly said, "We're over the ocean. Where else can we go?" So we turned around, landed at Goose Bay, Newfoundland, where medical personnel came onto the plane and took off the sick passengers (I think of them might have been an old person, too). We were only there for 45 minutes, but it put us 5 hours late getting into Frankfurt. And let me tell you, I was a complete basket case with cabin fever by the time we landed. I have never in my life wanted to kiss the ground as much as I did that day.
I will never fly Northwest Airlines again!!! From the ticket counter to the final destination, a paying customer is treated like dirt at best and a criminal at worst. Try to complain to the CEO or use any supposedly easy to use complaint line and see how many hours you will waste of your life. I will, and have, paid more money for better service on other airlines and to not be treated like cargo....
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