RANT: Glenn Hollis Found?

Lately I looked at my blog review stats and saw that most people come here for info while searching for "Glenn Hollis" on google. Then I thought, where the hell IS Glenn Hollis? He couldn't have dropped off the face of the earth. Then I found this- apparently Glenn has gone to "97.3, The Coast"- South Florida's Concert and Community Fun Site. The good news? You can listen to After Hours with Glenn Hollis on The Coast from the website. The bad news? The show airs from midnight to 5 am Monday through Friday.

Here's hoping that The Coast appreciates Glenn more than Wash FM!
And that they move his show to a more listener-friendly spot soon.

RAVE: Talking Cats/ RANT: You Tube

Instead of being able to see the greatest you tube of all time from my page, I have to put in a link here to my favorite you tube video. For some reason (maybe because blogger switched to beta?) I am having problems uploading the video.

This video is my favorite thing on you tube right now, besides from all the Saddam Hussein execution videos. 'Cause really, what's better than watching some dictator hanging? I'll tell you- talking cats.

Warning: this video will freak your freak. Seriously. Sit down to watch it.

RANT: Northwest Airlines = Worst Ever

My husband and i just got back from a week-long vacation over the holidays and flew Northwest Airlines there and on the return trip back. Let me take a moment to tell you why Northwest Airlines is the worst airline EVER.

1) Very unfriendly staff. Sure, they do the usual, "buh-bye" when you exit the plane, but while you are on the plane you are treated like an annoying 5-year old. No you can NOT have a snack, they are 2.50 for pretzels and 3.00 for pringles. And no I can NOT check on your connecting flight/gate. GAWD you're annoying, fine, here's the info, but I can NOT guarantee its accuracy. So F u, hippie.

2) Cannot get a flight out on time, even though its the FIRST flight of the morning.

3) All flights must go through Memphis. Memphis is OK, but their airport is ridiculously spaced out. For example, gate B2 is approximately 50 yards away from gate B3. So although it is in the middle of the country, it's not exactly an ideal place to have a hub.

4) Pilots have twitches. I swear to god that twice during a flight the pilot must have hit the steering wheel with his elbow, because the plane swerved dramatically to the left mid-flight and everybody screamed. Screamed for their lives.

5) No one from the airline said a thing to the obese man who sat next to us on the flight out this morning. The man should have had 2 seats. He did NOT fit in the airline seat, was spilling out onto the aisle and onto my husband, and could barely wrestle the seat belt around his girth-y middle.
Afterwards, while I was soothing my husband as he uttered "I feel..... so..... cold inside....," I told him, "at some point the airline needs to tell him that he has to start buying 2 seats." To which he answered, "at some point people need to consider their surgical options."

6) Although I know this has NOTHING to do with Northwest Air, the people on our flights were among the most annoying I have encountered in a while. And because a) I think that the people that frequent a business reflect on the business and b) it was really really annoying, I'm going to bitch about it for a while.
1. For starters, there was the morbidly obese passenger.
2. Today, there were also about 35 screaming babies on the flight. Alls I know is, if I just had a baby a month or so ago, any relatives that want to see it for Christmas can come to me. TO ME.
3. There was also the "Spanish family reunion" sitting behind us today. I have no idea WHAT they were talking about (because I don't speak Spanish), but I do know that the family of 4 (mom, dad, and 2 teenage sons) were speaking when we boarded the plane, through the flight, when we got off the plane, and while we were waiting for our luggage. I don't have that much to say to ANYone, much less my family. The only thing I understood was when they started listing countries. No shit, they started naming countries. "Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Nicaragua, the Bahamas..." This went on for a long time. If you are naming countries, I think that you must just like to hear yourself talk.
4. There was also a nerdy love-connection a few rows behind us, which was quite puke-y. Two overweight dorks with their backpacks exchanging contact info. Looking longingly into each others eyes, starved for mutual nerd attention. Gag.


So along with boycotting 97.1 until Glenn comes back and Delilah is kicked off the air in DC for good, I think that I will also boycott Northwest Airlines. Because there was absolutely nothing pleasant about it, and there are enough airlines out there to choose from. Plently. Lets start with the As: American Airlines, Alaska Air....

RANT: What Interest Rate is a "High Interest Rate"?

I should always copy or mail MSN money articles to myself when I see them, because I can never find them again later- they disappear into the MSN black hole/vortex. So of course now I can't link you to the article. You'll just have to trust me. (ha)

I was reading one yesterday about how to "give your kids a million dollars." Basically they told you how much you needed to invest when your child was born, and monthly payments into the various accounts per month, to give your kid a million dollars (approximately) when they turn 18. I thought the whole idea was pretty interesting. There was also a column for how much you had to give if you didn't start saving until the kid was 5, etc.

Then there was a disclaimer stating that until you have your high interest rate debt paid off, this isn't something you should be thinking about doing. So what qualifies as a "high interest rate"? Anything above the going market rate for a mortgage? How much higher? Obviously 5% is low and 20% is high, but there has to be a commonly accepted formula for what counts as high interest.

The whole thing was depressing.

RAVE: @^$%'n Quebecois

There is an excellent article today from the Washington Post's website called In French Speaking Canada, the Sacred is Also Profane about Quebecois swear words. Apparently, when something bad happens, the Quebecois shout their favorite Catholic word, such as "Communion!", "Holy Host!" or "Tabernacle"!

From the article:

"You swear about things that are taboo," André Lapierre, a professor of linguistics at the University of Ottawa. In the United States, "it is not appropriate to talk about sex or scatological subjects, so that is what you use in your curse words. The f-word is a perfect example.

"In Canadian French, you have none of the sexual aspects. So what do you replace it with? You replace it with religion. If you are going to use a taboo word, it would be anything related to the cult, to Christ, the Communion wafer, Jesus Christ, vestments, and elements of the altar like tabernacle. There's quite a few of them."

However, apparently this doesn't carry over to the rest of the Francophone. The article reports that French visitors are surprised at these swear words. Lapierre credits this to the fact that the French have long been away from domination by the Catholic Church.

RAVE: Tenacious D

Just saw the new SNL tonight with Matthew Fox (from Party of 5 and Lost) hosting and Tenacious D as the musical guest. What can I say but Tenacious D has, and always will, kick some major metal ass. I was a little disappointed that Jack Black wasn't in any of the sketches, but what can I say? He did recently get married and has two movies coming out this month- "The Pick of Destiny" and "The Holiday". I guess I will cut them some slack and just revel in the awesome performances they gave tonight. Even if they did poke more than a little fun of grunge music.

This is not the greatest blog in the world; no, this is just a tribute- to Tenacious D.

RANT: Student Loans III

OK, so I shouldn't be ranting about how I can't afford stuff I don't need, like a bigger house or new shoes. That's just being bratty. What I do care about is that I can't really plan for the future with the amount of loans I am paying off. Since I have been paying off my loans I have been able to save very little and have put nothing towards my Roth IRA/retirement.

There is an excellent recent article from the Washington Post by Michelle Singletary from September 24, 2006 titled "Lesson for Students: the Best Debt is None," which talks about the myth of "student loan debt is bad debt". She ends her article with this:

I think all the questions, on some level, stem from the belief that student loan debt is good debt. It's not. Debt is bad, even when necessary. Conventional wisdom should follow this old Chinese proverb, "A good debt is not as good as no debt."

RANT: Evil Student Loans Part II

As my brother so politely pointed out in his comment below, yes, student loans are considered to be "good debt," meaning that you can deduct the interest payments from your federal income taxes. However, when it's not the interest payments but the principal payments that are killing you, this is of little comfort. All I know is: we can't afford to get another car so both husband and I can drive to work (one of us has to take public transport), can't afford to go on vacay, can't even really afford the gym payments we were making so had to quit, can't afford a bigger house/house in a nicer hood. Even the mundane things that shouldn't be big become big.... I need new sneakers but they cost so much. Why? Because about 10k a year is going into my loans.

At least when you get your mortgage, you know that you will be paying it for the next 30 years. However, when you are in school and your parents suddenly cut you off from tuition payments, but also won't let you quit school, you suddenly find yourself desperate to get a loan, any loan, to keep going to school. And there's not exactly a lot of options for the student loan payments- you can't really shop around as much as you do for your mortgage. There's the minimum amount of federal loans that you can get because your parents make X amount of $ (even though they aren't giving any to you), and then there's the private lenders who are looking to make as much off of you as they can. You don't realize when you sign that loan check to keep going to class that you are really signing away the rest of your life to the evil corporation that is the American education industry.

So, any multi-millionaires out there (Paris, hello, I'm your new BFF) who feel like being charitable, let me know.

RANT: The Curse of the Student Loan *evil laugh goes here*

Sorry to rant about something so goddamned depressing, but something has been weighing on my mind the past few days. On Saturday we had a little get-together at our house. At about 2:00 am when almost everyone had gone, the conversation turned deep and philosophical (as it usually does, which I HATE- why can't late night conversation ever be light and drunkenly cheerful?). Somehow the subject of student loans came up.

This was especially depressing for me because I recently sat down and figured out how long it was going to take me to pay off my loans at their current rates. I won't say how long it was, but lets just say that my hair should be entirely gray and I will be menopausal by the time that happens. Then I decided to see how much I would have to pay each month to pay it off the entire loan in three years. If I didn't have to pay anything for food or rent, I suppose it would be feasible. The really deeply pathetic thing is that I had pretty much decided (before I sat down and planned it out) that I wanted to pay off my loans before the husband and I could think about starting a family. Due to the aforementioned menopausal state I will find myself in when that happens, it doesn't seem like that's really a possibility. And that makes me incredibly depressed, seeing as how if I ever have a child I would like to be able to pay for its food.

This entire discussion leads me to my newest cross road: do I stay at my current job (which I enjoy), or go back to temping? Although the job is obviously a good career move with the future possibility of a higher paycheck/career track, temping pays more. A lot more. Which is pathetic. It's sad to think that we live in a society where working as a temp pays significantly more than what you can make at a permanent position. Anyways, if I was temping it is feasible to pay off what I would need to pay to get the loan out of the way in 3 years.

So what do I do? Work my ass off as a temp and get paid bank and pay off my loans/responsibilities to enable my future with a family? Or toil away at a job that will eventually lead to raises/promotions where I could, in several years, earn as much as I could as a temp (or more)?

I needed to share the thoughts that keep me up at night. 2 roads emerged in a wood and I, I chose the one less traveled by...BUT WHICH ONE IS THAT, ROBERT FROST? HUH?! NOT SO SMART NOW ARE YOU?!!?

RANT: WashFM's Non-Stop Christmas Bonanza

OK, I have to say it: 9 months out of the year I love 97.1 Wash FM here in DC(although that love has a twinge regret now that Delilah has replaced my beloved Glen Hollace). Where else am I going to turn on the radio and be guaranteed to hear Hall & Oats? A little "Dancing in September"? A little bit of Elton John, Billy Joel, etc.? But all that changes in November. From November to December I have to boycott Wash FM because they start playing NONSTOP Christmas carols & cheesy muzak. It's horrific. If I wanted to feel like I was stuck in a Christmas hell I would go to the mall the day after Thanksgiving, or go to Marshall's any day of the week.

I don't have anything against Christmas music, I just think it should be played at the appropriate time of the year- namely NOT Thanksgiving, and definately not right after fucking Halloween. I want to be able to enjoy my Thanksgiving with the dignity it deserves- Hall & Oats style.

RANT: Jared Leto's Look (REPEAT: NOT Jared Leto Himself)

OK, can we talk for a minute about what in HOLY HELL is Jared Leto doing to himself? I know he's got his band Sixty Seconds to Mars (and we all know how I hate the rock star who has to express himself musically *ahem Kevin Costner, ahem Russell Crow*). And I for one understand and share the rebellious/goth/punk thing. But I seriously think Jared Leto has taken it too far when I can look at a picture of him and be totally... not attracted to him. I mean, I know that there is more to him that the cute boy we all remember from that legendary staple of 90s tv, My So Called Life, but I'm not necessarily buying into the whole goth thing either. Probably somewhere in between.

There's also just something about guys who wear eye liner that really turns me off. There are a lot of things I want men to understand and share, but make up tips just isn't one of them.

LIGHTEN UP JARED. I STILL LOVE YOU JORDAN CATALONO.

DOUBLE RAVE: John Hodgman & David Rees

RAVE: John Hodgeman. I know this is an old clip of John Hodgeman (old for the net, 3 months), but I had to post it since we went to see John Hodgeman and David Reese Tuesday night at the Warehouse Theater in DC (near new ocnvention center). What can I say, I'm at home with the other NPR nerds! Anyways, John Hodgeman is just as funny live as on TV, AND he is really nice and personable, too. He even gave away "Hobo Chalk" after the show. Awesome. But another reason I had to post this? He was wearing the EXACT SAME suit and tie as he did on Tuesday night. Normally I wouldn't have noticed this, except he made it a point to talk about his Buddha-patterned tie during the Q&A, and here it is again.

DOUBLE RAVE: David Rees. I hadn't heard of David Rees (unfortunately!) until I saw him on Tuesday night, but now I am enlightened. He is the author of the most insightful and hysterical comics: Get Your War On, My New Fighting Technique is Unstoppable, and (my favorite) My New Filing Technique is Unstoppable. To see his comics, go to: www.mnftiu.cc.

I had my own "mnftiu" moment today at work when the loud speaker announced a key board demonstration taking place. You heard me.

RAVE: Michael J. Fox RANT: Rush (as always)

OK, you can add Rush Limbaugh as someone that annoys me just as much as Andy Rooney. Seriously, the guy is a druged out lunatic, and he loves making fun of people with horrible diseases like Parkinson's? This video clip from You Tube of Michael J. Fox made me want to cry (I still love you, Doc Hollywood!). I want a button that says: I SUPPORT STEM CELL RESEARCH AND MICHAEL J FOX.

RANT: Rooney Clue

I was filling out the crossword the other day and I came across this clue: "First Name in 60 Minutes". I racked my brain trying to think of who comes on first in their intro montage- "I'm Ed Bradley, I'm Morley Safer, I'm Leslie Stahl," etc. But oh no- what was the answer? ANDY. Will Shortz, you are on my list now. Seriously, he may be the OLDEST person at 60 Minutes, but he's not the FIRST NAME. If anything, he's the LAST name on the montage- "all this and Andy Rooney, tonight, on 60 Minutes." Come on, Will Shortz, this is the crossword editor's job. You gotta sift through the bullshit clues! PS> Will, if you are reading this, I love you. It's just this one thing with Rooney really bugs me.

RAVE: The Right Job

OK, I need to take a few minutes and write about how the right job can make a complete and total difference in your life. For instance, I have been at my new job for 3 weeks now. 3 weeks at my last job and I was looking for a ledge to jump from. Now I am working 10 hour days, sometimes on the weekend, but I don't feel drained- I'm not watching the clock or dreading going in the next day. It's amazing! Sure I'm tired, but I feel like I'm making a difference, being useful, and being appreciated. Sure beats being somebody's psychological punching bag. And the $ doesn't hurt, either. :P

Rooney Rant

From last night's 60 Minutes Andy Rooney segment, I would say that Andy has taken the road to senility. Seriously. Last night they just let him talk about food- nothing in particular about food- more like a free form thought flow about food.

First, he said he sympathized with the spinach growers in California whose e-coli laden produce made one person die and dozens of others sick. Then he said that made him think of when thousands of Indian farmers committed suicide a few years back when their crops failed (?). THEN he talked about although he's a meat-eater he would never eat horse. This led to an old WW2 story about when he was stationed in France, and after battles were over the hungry French villagers would come out and cut up the dead horses to eat- which, of course, he thought was disgusting. OK, lets not mention the fact that it was France in the middle of WW2 and they were probably starving without their GI rations.

He finished the whole thing off by saying that we all know that vegetarians are crazy, but that's probably the wave of the future.

Rooney, you are killing me. I'm actually surprised that Andy Rooney doesn't discredit the whole 60 minutes organization with his nonsensical tirades. Besides, isn't it about time for retirement? Rooney grinds my gears enough when he actually has a topic and sticks to it for 2 minutes (Salt and why the aliens are coming to get us), but the free-form tirade just set me over the edge.

RANT: Andy Rooney Hates Poor People

OK, not really, but that will grab your attention, right? In last night's 60 Minutes Andy Rooney segment, the living legend of the obvious goes off on a tirade on how George Bush has 433 assistants working at the White House. That's not quite so out of reach- I mean, think of the U.S. as a corporation serving the 300-some million people that live in the U.S. I don't think it's so far gone to think the CEO would have 433 assistants. I bet Oprah has 900 easy.

Anyways, AR then goes on to make fun of people's titles, which I admit is humorous. But then he makes fun of how much these people are making for what they are doing. For instance, he points out that a Correspondence Analyst only makes 30K/year, then jokes that he must only read post cards. I bet the Correspondence Analyst is the most hard working guy in the office, considering how much hate mail he must get. Then he derides the fact that there is even an "Ethical Advisor" to the president, saying that since he's the prez he must know what's what. RIGHT. That has been the hallmark of Bush, or any other president's, legacy. All the ethically correct decisions they made.

Ah, Rooney. When will you retire and end my personal hell knowing that someone pays YOU to do YOUR job?!

RANT: Sign of the End?

RANT: I woke up to a scary thought this morning- Anna Nicole Smith and Brittney Spears both gave birth this week. Is this a sign of the Apocolypse? I'm pretty sure that Revelations listed this as one of the Four Hoursemen, right after Bush becoming the U.S. President and Clay Aiken being appointed to a presidential committee.

RAVE: Some People Have Goals

So I was scanning the "offbeat" news section on CNN, because lets face it, it's the best part of the whole site, when I saw this article.Usually this is the kind of thing I would make fun of mercilessly (like your beard is going to help anybody find Osama Bin Ladin), but something put my sarcasm on hold (gasp!) and think about it. This guy has a goal, he has matsy, stick-to-it-iveness, whatever you want to call it. This guy is dedicated. In all honestly he may have just wanted an excuse not to shave and thought the Bin Laden thing was a good one to hedge your bets against, but still. The guy made a decision and he's showing everybody that he's not going to conform to society until some event X happens. I can admire that.

So here's to you, Mr. Gary Weddle. Here's to you and your beard.

RANT: The Air Force Cares

Let me begin this rant by listing a few givens. 1) I know the Air Force really doesn't care 2) I'm sure these sort of things happen all the time, probably in the form of "Internal Memos re: test wartime devices on American public", but I love that it is actually on CNN. Apparently the Air Force cares about protecting foreign combatants so much that they wouldn't actually want to use any weapons on them if they wouldn't actually use it on us., because it wouldn't look good in the world press. http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/09/12/usaf.weapons.ap/index.html. Well, um. YEAH. You know some thoughts are better in your head than actually articulated on CNN.

RANT: New Bra Trends?

Apparently there is a new trend in celebrity/fashion bras I had no idea existed. Is there even a name for this? I call it "the trapeze artist".

RAVE: Someone Else Agrees About Steve Irwin

RAVE: my husband showed me a recent post on an awesome new blog I've just discovered- www.calacanis.com- about how the Discovery Channel killed Steve Irwin. Thank god someone else pointed out the similarities between Steve Irwin and the Grizzly Man (Tim Treadwell).

Also, I loved an article about how Germaine Greeer was being publicly taunted because she said what a lot of people were thinking- that Steve Irwin was horrible to animals and his death (while I do think is sad, and I am sorry for his family), is not such a surprise.

RANT: Bush to Hire Clay Aiken

RANT: in another brilliant move by President Bush, he has decided to hire Clay Aiken to head up the President's Committee on People with Intellectual Disabilities. Hmmm. Too many jokes here to think straight. Apparently Clay was chosen because in his pre-Idol days he was a counselor at a YMCA. I think it was great that he was a counselor and this is obviously a chance to do some good, but is Clay Aiken, American Idol's second season runner-up really qualified to head up a President's Committee? So when is Bush going to hire Paula Abdul to head up logistics in Iraq? She did coreography once. Or Simon to design all the new military uniforms. He has a crewcut.

RAVE: Freedom of Expression

Aren't you glad we live in America where we can say whatever we want? It's a beautiful thing.

RAVE: Pro-Pluto Protest Draws... 50 people in NM

RAVE: Looks like the good people of New Mexico have finally read my blog entry about Pluto getting dissed and are up in arms as they should be. All 50 of them. I would actually LOVE to see a protest that was about such an academic/intellectual thing- the downsizing of a planet to a dwarf. I mean, these are people who choose to go out and protest in the hot summer in New Mexico, not about immigration or civil rights, but about Pluto.

I do take issue with the protesters saying that Clyde Tombaugh, the discoverer of Pluto, was an "American hero, and for that reason alone Pluto's status as a planet should be kept." That's a bit of a stretch. He was obviously a smart guy and helped out New Mexico State University quite a bit by starting up their astronomy department. But probably not an American hero. I like to save those titles for people who might have died saving a baby from a burning building.

I do want one of the shirts that says "Size Doesn't Matter". That's awesome.

Pluto Protesters, I salute you!

RANT: Croc Hunter Bites the Big One

RANT:
Is it sad that Steve Irwin, the "Crocodile Hunter" is dead? Yes. A surprise? No. I'm just shocked it didn't happen earlier. Sort of like my other favorite outdoor documentary filmmaker/wildlife psycho, the Grizzly Man. I'm more shocked that they lasted as long as they did. Or, as my husband said, "Crikey!"

RAVE: The Zen State of Nothingness

RAVE: if you have ever quit a job with a really horrible boss, you know exactly how I am feeling right now. Lighter than air, happier than a kid at Christmas, almost a little intoxicated at the thought of new possibilities and free afternoons. But most importantly, free from the chain around your ankle that was calling you a loser and screaming at you day in and out. The insecurity of unemployment isn't yet clawing at my throat, tugging at my brain and telling me to get on the ball. Instead, I am breathing the air of a free woman who will be no one's whipping girl. Today, I am Sluggo saying "no" to the world and breathing in the fresh coolness of freedom.

RANT: Pluto Gets the Big Diss

I know this is probably considered old news by now, but Pluto has been dissed by the cool kids at school and made to sit at a different lunch table than all the "classical" planets. Now Pluto has to go hang his head in shame and eat lunch with the other "dwarf" planets. Daaaaaaamn thats cold.

I'm all for the evolution of science, but I just don't think it's fair to play around with Pluto like that. You give him props, tell him he's a real planet, and then one day just up and decide that its oblong orbit intercepts with Neptune, so he's out of the club. If anybody should be getting the boot it should be Uranus. Am I right? He's the but of every 8-year-olds' joke.

And it's not like all the cool kids have a consensus of what makes a planet a real planet. Almost a week ago at a "cool-kid party" (read: scientific convention of interplanetary nerds) they almost voted to re-affirm Pluto as a planet, add Pluto's homeboy Moon as a planet, and some other kids in his possee, too.

So make up your minds! What kind of a pseudo science goes around voting about what consitutes the definition of something like a friggin' planet? And cut Pluto a break. He's gotten pantsed in front of the classical planets and is feeling more than a little embarassed right now.

Religious Weirdness Update: Apocalypse Now?

Apparently someone thinks that the Chocolate Virgin Mary I blogged about on Friday is really a sign of The End of Times. I've heard that Revelations was written in code, but I never knew that the Four Hoursemen actually meant a chocolate-dripping statute in the likeness of the Virgin Mary. Who knew? Thanks to boingboing for the post.

In other religious icon news, Hindu statues are drinkng milk from people's hands in India. See the Forbes report. Religious pilgrims are flocking to see Shiva, Ganesha and Durga sip milk from believers' hands at the temples. This isn't the first time that the gods have been thirsty- in 1995 almost the exact same thing happened (see the wikipedia article). The phenomenon is called the Hindu Milk Miracle. However, scientists say that the milk drinking is physics, not miracles, are at work. Apparently cold stones, like marble, can absorb liquids through surface tension and capillary action, much the way a tree can absorb water. I never made good grades in physics, but that sounds plausible enough of an explanation. I however would rather believe in milk-drinking statutes. It goes down so well with a chocolate Virgin Mary.

The Chocolate Virgin Mary: Religious and Delicious (and Other Chocolate News)

Why can't Protestants have anything nearly as cool as this happen? I love it when Catholics find images of the Virgin Mary in things like toast, trees, and chocolate. I guess Martin Luther or John Wesley would be much harder to spot in a potato chip than the Virgin Mary. How many Protestant relics have I eaten and not even known it? Here's a link to the story on CNN.

In other chocolate news, a man in Wisconsin got stuck waist-deep in a vat of chocolate at the Kenosha company. Firefighters and police had to show up to rescue him after his inept coworkers couldn't get him out. Call me crazy, but I know what Homer Simpson would do in that situation. Maybe the plant should pass out bracelets that say "WWHSD" instead of "WWJD". Thanks to WTOP for the story.

John Mark Karr: Crazy or JonBenet Killer?

So for the past two days, America has been transported ten years back in time to the JonBenet Ramsey murder. I myself am an avid true-crime fan and remember the media circus that her murder caused. Exposes of child beauty pagents, series on pedophiles and the suspicion of the Ramsey family- Mom, Dad, and brother included- dominated the news.

John Mark Karr is obviously a bona-fide kiddie-porn freak, who "fled" the US after being arrested on child pornography charges to Thailand. Come on, people, who flees to Thailand except for people looking for 6-year-old hookers? He just seems like a nutso who was fascinated by the child star murder. And, being the pedophile that he is, obsessed over it, researched it, and talked about. Apparently he eventually reached out to talk to the Colorado University journalism professor who eventually turned their emails over to the Boulder police. But it does seem a little strange that ten years later someone would just confess, especially when he was supposedly in Alabama when it occured in December 1996. He also said that he drugged her before he raped her although her autopsy revealed no toxins/drugs in her system.

He seems just like a pervert looking for some attention or a book deal. I will be interested, however, to see if the press ever releases the supposed "details" that were not known to the public about her case.

USA Today, 8/14/06, Reports "Field of Dreams"

I am ashamed to admit it, but I was reading the front page section of USA Today on Monday. If it makes you feel better, I was trapped on a plane for 3 hours and there wasn't much else to do. Someone else had already abandoned it in the terminal, so it's not like I bought (and therefore financially supported) the 2nd worst paper in the country. In case you are wondering, the 1st place spot goes to the bastion of right-wing conservative reportage, The Washington Times.

Actually taking up room on page 3A is the article "5,000 flock to 'Field of Dreams': Fans Gather to See Film on Original Set." USA Today does not hide their hard-hitting news stories of national significance in the back, no sir. Direct from Dyersville, Iowa the Associated Pres reports further on my blog entry detailing the NetFlix Roadshow and Kevin Costner's first trip back to Iowa since he made the movie in 1989.

The most interesting thing about the article, besides the picture of Kevin Costner rocking out after the show (above, only available online, the printed version is him pitching to some local kids) is that the population of Dryersville has increased by 300 since the movie was filmed.

How awful was his performance with his as-of-yet unnamed band that it wasn't even mentioned by the AP? Or did they cut out early to catch flights somewhere more interesting? And in case you were wondering, the main "economic engines" of the town are agriculture and tourism.

RANT: A New Professional Low

Okay, I thought about just posting this picture and saying "My boss: need I say more?" . But actually I do need to say more. I'm the kind of person who has to publicly talk about my humiliations. And today, I have reached a new professional low. My boss actually called me a loser today. And then she made an "L" shape on her forehead, which I seriously haven't seen anybody do since about 1991.

What makes it worse is that I was coming to the defense of my beloved Glenn Hollis. During a meeting with a coworker and my boss in her office, I commented on how she was playing 97.1 WASH FM during the work hours. "WASH at work!". Then my coworker said how much she liked WASH and their penchant for playing the BeeGees. So of course I mentioned how pissed off I was that they took Glenn Hollis off the air and put on that stupid cunt Delilah. (OK, I didn't actually say "cunt"). Then my boss laughs at me, calls me a LOSER for listening to Glenn Hollis, does the L thing on her forehead, and goads my coworker into calling me a loser too.

"Can you believe that? Can you? Isn't she a loser?" To her credibility, my coworker didn't cave and said she understand my Glenn Hollis addition. I am just having a real difficulty coming to terms with the fact that my boss called me a loser to my face. What makes it worse is that she recently saw The Devil Wears Prada, and went on and on about what a horrible boss Meryl Streep was. Really? Really! The only good thing I can say about my boss right now is that she hasn't made me find the unpublished Harry Potter book of the moment for her non-existant children. Although tomorrow is another day.

RAVE: Movin' On Up...To The East Side...

On Friday night my hubby and I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood (Columbia Heights) to see the progression of the planned Target/Best Buy on 14th Street. On the way, we discovered that we must be living in a hole, because the area around the metro looked like it had completely sprung up overnight. Next to the Giant, the Carvel Ice Cream had opened, along with a Latin restaurant called Rumba, which the sign described as a "restaurant/art/bar". It looked tres chic inside, with mood lighting, a large bar, and plush chairs filled with diners enjoying all sorts of tasty looking things. We also saw a T-Mobile store and a Ruby Tuesdays, which was all set and ready to go but for the liquor license hearing notice hanging in the window. Click here for all the updates and goings-on about Columbia Heights development. Also, from the makers of The Ellington on U St., comes a new condo/retail development about a block from our house.

But seriously, how the hell could a Ruby Tuesdays spring up not 5 blocks from our house without us knowing? It literally looked like it had just fallen from the sky, completely constructed and furnished, onto the corner of 14th and Monroe.

Most people probably wouldn't be excited about a Ruby Tuesdays popping up in their neighborhood- or eagerly watch the construction of a Target for that matter- but for a couple of crazy kids like us who bought a house hoping that the whisperings of development would actually occur, this is truly exciting. There are some people that are angry about "mom and pop" stores disappearing from the American landscape due to stores like a Ruby Tuesdays or a Target, and normally I would agree. However, when all that was there before was a vacant lot and a few dilapidated liquor stores, those bits of corporate Americana are a welcome sight.

RAVE: Stefan Fatsis and Melissa Block are Married

OK, old news maybe, but news to me! Stefan Fatsis, the author of Word Freak (my new obsession) is married to one of NPR's hosts of All Things Considered, Melissa Block. So basically two of my weird eccentricities have combined: Scrabble and NPR. This is basically the nerd world's equivalent of Brangalina. But it's more like Stefissa. Doesn't quite sound as sexy, does it? I can't even imagine what the dinner conversation must be like in that house...I would love to be a fly on the wall.

Stefan: Today I memorized all of the 9 letter bingos that contain an E, M and an X.
Melissa: In world news today, fighting continued in Beruit...

And, even more exciting, they live in Washington DC. I won't say where it is, but lets just say that Word Freak must have been a big hit on the New York Time's Best Seller List, because I don't think that NPR pays that kind of green. It is public radio, after all.

Kevin Costner? Live? Are You Kidding?

So it is a little slow (more than a little) at work today, and perusing the net came up with this interesting tidbit: NetFlix has organized a "Rolling Roadshow" which features 10 movies being shown at the site of their original filming. Sounds like an interesting idea, but the most that msn.com got from this is that Kevin Costner will be returning to Dryersville, Iowa, where Field of Dreams was filmed. I don't know how many people live in Iowa, and I don't want to know, but I am guessing that this is the biggest thing to have happen in Iowa since they filmed Field of Dreams in 1989.

Apparently the other "draw" to this event (like Kevin Costner isn't enough to make any bored Iowans day), is that after the screening the big KC himself will perform with his yet unnamed band. A direct quote, people. I know that it's Iowa, but come on- you know everybody's going to be sneaking out during the credits to avoid hearing Kevin Costner sing.

The most interesting of the NetFlix roadshow series includes:
1) an August 8th screening of "Clerks" in Red Bank, NJ, where Kevin Smith will host a Q&A before the show. Nice, my personal fave.
2) an August 10th screening of "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" under the water tower in Northbrook, IL, that was painted with "Save Ferris!" for the movie. John Hughes will be there, although no Q&A is mentioned; however, there is an "80s prom night" and people are encouraged to wear vintage outfits.
3)an August 20th screening of "Raising Arizona" in Apache Junction, AZ. Apparently Nicholas Cage and Holly Hunter are too big and important to show up, so instead NetFlix is hosting a Nathan Jr. Scavanger Hunt, with the grand prize being a vintage Airstream trailor like the one in the movie.

Did Castro Make a Pact with Satan?

OK, I have decided if anyone ever signed a deal with the devil it's Fidel Castro. The guy is 80 years old and still in power- apparently having gone through some intestinal surgery "just fine" (if you believe the Commie-controlled Cuban press). When I think of Fidel Castro, I personally try to think of someone a scant ten years younger than my husband's grandmother (born in 1916), then try to think of her ruling a Communist island with an iron fist. Somehow it just doesn't seem to add up.

In other news, Mel Gibson is now trying to deny that he's a Jew-hater. Riiight.

2 posts in a day? how lucky ARE you?

www.catsthatlooklikehitler.com. Need I say more? Thanks to my hubby for finding the site.

Mel Gibson... What the Hell?

So apparently Mel Gibson is not only super-Catholic, he's super anti-semitic and a super alcoholic, too. I always thought Mel was a little too high on his horse. I mean, he's an old-school Catholic who thinks that communion doesn't actually become the blood/flesh of Jesus unless the mass is said in Latin. He's publically said before that he doesn't necessarily think that his wife is getting into heaven because she's an Episcopal. Sure, she's good enough to have a dozen of my kids, but heaven? Well, thems the rules, sweetie. Sorry 'bout that. The only way through THOSE pearly gates is through the Vatican. And not this Vatican, even, more like the Vatican circa 1200. The P.C. term for this is "traditionalist Catholicism". Click here for wikipedia quotes about Mel's view of his religion.

Speaking of which, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that Mel is such an anti-semite, seeing how he claims that the Vatican II is responsible for the downfall of Catholicism, including Pope John Paul II's outreach to the Jewish community. He also blamed them on the rise of homosexuality and pedophelia in the Church. Oh really, Mel, are they responsible for your alcoholism, too?

Maybe I live under a rock, but I had no idea what a giant, closed-minded loser this guy was until is D.U.I. arrest over the weekend. I feel like Braveheart (which I loved cause it's about the Scots, gotta give love to my roots) is totally ruined for me now.

Rave: Is "Scrabblemania" A Word?

I'm in the middle of reading Stephen Fatsis' "Word Freak", which is an incredibly interesting book about the inside world of competitive Scrabble playing. OK, so I know it's incredibly dorky, too, but remember I'm the same gal that dragged my husband to see Word Play, so there you go.

During the course of Word Freak the writer, who started the book as a "journalistic" approach to the game, becomes increasingly obsessed with Scrabble. He ends up memorizing all the 2,3, and 4 letter Scrabble words, anagramming on the subway, and learning the Bingo word lists.

But the more I read the book, Fatsis' obsession becomes MY obsession. I don't want to admit it to anyone, but I am thinking about printing out all the 2 and 3 letter Scrabble word lists from the Hasbro site. I mean, I just beat my husband by a good 40 point margin on a Scrabble game and I'm still thinking about it.

So what's with my Scrabble obsession? Is it the same nagging feeling we get from Sodoku and cross word puzzles, that the human brain needs to be able to fill in the blanks that we see? Who cares. We'll just see if I can beat Mr. and Mrs. Prof. McRib (competitive board game players) the next time we're in the big D.

MST3K

So apparently the good, good people of Mystery Science Theater 3000 share my views of Andy Rooney. In Volume 8 of the MST3K series (1993), Mike Nelson engages the two robots, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot, into an "Andy Rooney-off," where they talk about the quixotic nature of soup. Granted, I have not seen this myself, but it will now move to #1 on my priority list to get this from NetFlicks. Click here to see it reported on Wikipedia (under "Trivia").

See, I'm not the only one who things The Rooney ridiculous. And you know if they made fun of it on MST3K, it's gotta be legit.

Is Montgomery Burns Based on Andy Rooney: They Look Alike, They Think Alike, Sometimes They Even TALK Alike...

Could The Simpsons' C. Montgomery Burns be based on 60 Minutes' Andy Rooney? The idea first occured to me while doing research for my first entry about how much Andy Rooney grinds my gears. On the CBS/60 Minutes website, they have a link to transcripts of recent Andy Rooney tirades. One particularly funny one is on milk, where Rooney goes off about how there are too many types of milk "nowadays". Included is a snippet that we should really be calling it "skimmed milk" instead of "skim milk". This brought to mind a Simpsons episode where Mr. Burns tries ice cream for the first time and calls it "iced cream".

The look alike: Compare their pictures. Come on.

They think alike: The ramblings of Andy Rooney are obviously those of a man who wishes it were still 1950. He hates computers (Rooney does it typewriter-style), anything but whole milk, the metric system, stamps, and every president after Truman. He probably drives a hulking antique car that gets "40 rods to the Hogshead".

The talk alike: Besides the oh-so-obvious skimmed milk and iced cream reference, I'm sure if you called Andy Rooney, he would also answer his phone "Ahoy hoy" like Mr. Burns, and that he refers to his on-air ramblings that are featured on the "jumping box".

Basically, it's funny because they both think they are living in 1903. Click here for a hilarious wikipedia commentary on Mr. Burns' state of mind.

What the HELL is wrong with BLOGGER?

This post speaks for itself. I couldn't log onto blogger all day yesterday.

Where the Hell is Glenn Hollis?

OK, so my husband and I realized last night that our favorite late night radio show, "After Hours with Glenn Hollis," hasn't been on lately. In case you don't tune in to 97.1 Wash FM, or if you just won't admit to it, Glenn Hollis has the best dedications show. People generally call in, keep their comments short, Glenn will murmur his understandings and then either read a poem, play a song, or both. The really great thing is that it's local, and people really feel like they have a connection to him. He also hosts the Valentine's Day gala that Wash hosts every year.

Instead, they have been playing this "Delilah" crap, which is annoying for SO many reasons.
1) She goes by one name like she's Madonna, or Prince, or something. Come on, you're in RADIO.
2) She's syndicated, not local.
3) She carries out really long conversations with these callers. She might play 3 songs during the entire show. In the meantime, some yahoo from the trailor park is going on and on about how her daughter has moved in with an older man across the park with two illegitimate kids, and it's against god's plan, and she just doesn't know what to do about it.
3) Her song choice is utterly unpredictable and ridiculous. Like last night this woman called in about how great she thinks it is that her husband is going to medical school as a second career in his 30s. Then she plays "Love the Way You Love Me," a country song from like, 99/00 which has nothing to do with being proud, sacrificing, etc., but literally the way you love me. What?

So I did some research today and they CANNED GLENN HOLLIS. (click here for the link to a washingtonpost article about the firing). Apparently he has done this show here for 12 years and now he's gone for this syndicated Delilah bitch. What the hell? WASH FM, you are NOT the quality radio show I once thought you were. And to think I used to defend you when other people put you down...

Glenn, this message is for you (in case you ever google your own name)- I am still your fan and will never go to the Delilah Dark Side of After Hours. And no, I'm not a stalker.

What Really Grinds My Gears...

So I am always complaining, well, more like ranting and raving, to my husband about things that really bother me or are just plain bizzar. You know the moments, you've had them before- you're walking down the street, and you see a woman breast feeding her 8 year old in broad daylight at a bus stop. Those are the kind of things that make me stop and say, "in what universe is that ever acceptable?" These are also known as my "Family Guy" moments, based on an episode where Peter gets a job at a local TV station for an Andy Rooney-esque segment called, "You know what really grinds my gears?". This is possibly the funniest episode of Family Guy, and not only for the hilarious (but true) things that Peter complains about, but also because of the fact that I think Andy Rooney is the most ridiculous character on TV. As my husband would say, "he's an institution" (click here to see his blog and check out his entries about his fascination with local TV anchors) . I just can't can't fathom a man who gets paid to go on a 3 minute tirade once a week about how much he hates the sticker-style postage stamps. "In my day, we had to LICK our stamps ourselves. Are today's American's too lazy to use their saliva?"